This mission by far was the most righteous and blessed by the Narrator. We were sent to speak with a dark skinned wizard, who's name is not important (Parallax), on the light side of the Flat world in the Razy Sphere. We arrived on the outskirts of the town Katzazz and approached to a scene of a divine oration heralding the pending doom of this planets way of life to little green men who appear from rocks and eat babies. Of course we were perturbed by the revelation of this news and immediately wanted to find the wizard and see what we could do to help. To our surprise, at least to my companions surprise (nothing surprises me, poor asses), the wizard approached us during the oration and beckoned us back to his tower. Of course we follow since this is the person that requested that we come to this planet. Obviously I was leery of this smooth talking, towel wearing darkie but we followed him nonetheless. Long story short, he propositioned us to kill Alex Bones, the man preaching to the town, because of science. I immediately knew this was bullshit so I told the troupe that we were going to talk to Alex and not kill him. Being the leader they of course did what I told them. Though it would have been nice to have Smookle help me keep the crazy scro from doing crazy shit but I digress. Alex was a soothsayer whom received his direction from the almighty Narrator, divine be his name. After hearing Alex explain what was happening again we knew we had to help. We followed him and some strange gnome named Gnome (pronounced No-May) who had a weird fascination with pointing us in the right direction. We eventually came upon some rocks that lead us deep into the earth (roughly 15 feet) and we emerged in a scorched land of fire and brimstone filled with literal vampire potbelly goblins. They approached, we let out or righteous fury on their bodies, they died. Alex was magnificent, bade dripping with the blood of our enemies, stealing all my Narrator damned kills…asshole. Thank the Narrator Desmond isn't a pacifist anymore, I thought I was going to have to fire him for being a lil bitch, for we sure needed his help in cleansing this land. If only Smookle was there to revel in the blood bath. Eventually we made our way down town to a factory where they were harvesting demons from babies' bodies. We slaughtered all we came across, unfortunately we were unable to save any of the children. Finally we confronted the leader of these hedonistic scum and wouldn't ya know, that thrice be damned science wizard was working for the demon Obama! We shoved our divine might in his anus and he exploded, I landed the final blow. Of course he threatened he would come back so I shit in his mouth til he died. We made some frightening discoveries going through his paper work…I'll have to spend some time going through these and find out what this has in store for Chad's Adventuring Troupe.